


Regrets

by icehotsun (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Feels, It's mainly markhyuck, M/M, Post-Relationship, i guess, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:02:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24135544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/icehotsun
Summary: ↪︎ Mark never got an explanation. He never got a closure that would've eased the hurt in his heart. He was disappointed, angry and sad. After many months separated, how will he face Donghyuck once again? Does he even have enough guts?
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got this idea from this fanart by lacie on twitter @lacie_draws [this tweet](https://twitter.com/lacie_draws/status/1170290389388914689?s=21) so yeah. thanks for making me inspired :)!
> 
> This is actually the rewritten story (which used to be my first fic) and it was also originally a oneshot, so that's why the whole concept needed a fix-up.

The powerful music drummed in his ears. It felt like he was underwater. As if the only thing he could hear was the loud banging bass from the music. Around him was a swarm of bodies covered in sweat. They moved in slow motion. Everything was just so slow.

He lost Jaehyun long ago and knew the older weren’t going to make an appearance anytime soon. He’d find the older later... somehow anyways.

Mark staggered through the swarm with really no destination in mind. His head had begun to throb a while ago. He had just been at the kitchen to grab some water, hoping it would ease the throbbing.

Slowly he dragged his body through the crowd in the living room. Mark’s vision was hazy, and he felt like it was getting harder to breathe. _Need to get fresh air_.

How his hazy vision suddenly found _him_ was a good question. He couldn’t help but freeze up when he saw the familiar face in the middle of the dancing people.

There he stood, only a few meters away. Mark tried to take in the sight properly. He could see that the guy wore his casual "party-clothes." Nothing out of the ordinary, he looked just like everyone else. 

So maybe it was the old, but well-known twinkle in his eyes that led Mark's eyes directly to him? Or maybe it was the loud and endearing sound of his laugh that had used to be his favorite sound?

If time wasn’t already slow, it completely slowed down now. Through the dimmed lights and through his now tunnel-vision, he could make out two figures. A tall and muscular guy had a taunting arm slung around Donghyuck.

It had been way too many months since he had seen him. Seeing him after so long woke up a nostalgic feeling in Mark. 

Donghyuck looked so familiar, but at the same time he looked like a complete stranger. He had changed. He was somehow a completely different person. It felt like Donghyuck was some kind of a stranger wearing the face of someone familiar to Mark. 

Mark’s eyes trailed Donghyuck’s figure carefully. He looked good and healthy, just like Mark remembered him.

Since it was a party, it shouldn’t have hit him like a surprise. At least not when the ever-so-social Donghyuck looked as good as he did. Despite knowing that, Mark couldn’t help it. Not when dark circles covered up the side of Donghyuck’s neck like _that._

Like some sort of claim. A claim on the spot where Mark once used to cover up with his own made dark-blue spots.

It felt weird. Weird, knowing that the purple spots who looked just like Mark’s were in fact far from his. The marks looked like some bad imitation. 

At first, he didn’t know how to feel, making him feel nothing and everything all together. Didn’t even know what to think or make out of it. 

The only emotion he was able to uncover was... hurt? Disappointment? Betrayal? It all hurt in a way that Mark felt attacked both physically and emotionally. It drowned him and gripped onto him, strangling him. The room suddenly felt too small, it left him with no space to breathe. 

He shouldn’t have felt like this. It wasn’t his right to feel like this. Right?

The hurt wasn't his right to feel. Mark wasn't losing anything or anyone right now. He lost Donghyuck long ago.

The bass left a hammering feeling inside his head, Mark was thrown into old memories. Memories of when he used to find comfort in the arms of Donghyuck. Moments they shared smiles and laughs together with eachother even on the grayest of days. The way Donghyuck’s once loving gaze used to stare straight into Mark’s eyes, stirring up emotions in him that even he himself didn’t know he could feel. Making him feel a different kind of alive, making him breathe properly. 

His head started throbbing again. He need some fresh air. He didn't have any right to feel like this. 

Especially not with the fact that Donhyck left him many months ago. Maybe Mark should've let him go back then. Should’ve accepted it and moved on. It would've spared him for many tears at least...

However, seeing Donghyuck right in front of him like this, made all his long forgotten feelings resurface again in a painful and twisted way. He wouldn't let himself miss Donghyuck. Not after working on getting over him for so long.

In the middle of trying to remind himself that Donghyuck is no longer a part of his life, brown eyes suddenly found his.

Donghyuck’s eyes widened a bit as if shocked to see Mark there too. Out of all places, fate decided a shitty party would be the best “meet your ex (is that what they even were?) after avoiding each other for months” place. 

Since Mark’s intoxicated brain had yet to keep up with the fact that Donghyuck had indeed looked back, he kept staring. A still shocked Donghyuck, didn’t know what to do either. That’s how they ended up staring at each other for what felt like uncomfortable too long.

Suddenly coming back to his senses and feeling _way_ too uncomfortable with Donghyuck’s eyes on him, he flew out of the full room as gracefully as he could.

Mark needed to get out _now_ . He couldn’t let this get to him. He didn’t spend sleepless nights trying to forget _him_ only for it all to come back with _one_ look at him. 

That's why he kept on running from it. Running from the memories.

His heart hurted. 

He hurted. 

But Mark wasn’t weak.

* * *

When he finally was out of the house, he started to slow down. He felt the contents he downed earlier wanting to come up. Trying to swallow the feeling away he sat down on the staircase that led to the garden.

It was peaceful outside. Only a few people were outside, taking in the fresh cold air of autumn. He looked up to the stars. The stars felt brighter tonight. The brightness from them lighted Mark up with comfort like they always did. 

One would probably think it was ridiculous, but Mark always found some type of consolation in the shining dots in the dark void called night sky.

Suddenly he felt a warm hand being placed on his shoulder making him shudder. Accompanied with the hand, a familiar voice broke the peaceful silence. “Can I… Can I sit down here?” the voice asked.

How could he say no? Would he ever be able to? 

Mark huffed then let out a, “Yeah, of course...”

Donghyuck sat down next to him and the sudden proximity made Mark feel extremely self-conscious. His heart rate sped up, while his hands started to become hot. He tried to focus on the flowers in the garden.

After a while Donghyuck decided to be the braver one of the two.

“How are you?” he asked.

Once again he was reminded of old times. Times when Donghyuck used to check up on him. The soft voice that used to hold so much concern. _Where did it all go?_

Now how could a simple question like “ _How are you?”_ make Mark so confused, because how the actual _fuck_ would he actually know how he is? Was he doing fine? Thing is, he was okay, but not really?

Not wanting to elaborate too much, he settled with, “I’m doing fine… I think?”

Donghyuck would usually know exactly what Mark meant. If he still did, that could only he himself know.

The air around them felt weird. This was after all a very unexpected meeting. A meeting Mark had tried to avoid, because he didn't know what he'd say, and he still didn't. 

Mark tried to fidget the uneasiness away. “What about you? How… how are you doing?” he tried to keep his shaky voice at bay. To keep himself busy, he kept scratching the skin around his nails.

He didn’t dare to meet Donghyuck’s eyes. He wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“Good,” a simple reply with no underlying meaning.

He was happy on Donghyuck’s behalf of course, but also bitter in a way. Looking past Donghyuck's mistakes, Mark knew he was good and usually meant well. The younger deserved to be happy, and it looked like the separated time gave him the opportunity to actually get better — which was supposed to be a good thing. So why did he feel like this bitterness? 

_Why am I always the one feeling miserable?_ , he selfishly thought to himself.

There was still this tension, barely noticeable for others, but thick around the two of them. In the air around them hung words that neither of them dared to voice out loud.

Or so Mark thought… 

He barely registered the words being said as they barely got out with the whispered tone.

“I…. ehh…. I miss being with you…” Donghyuck said with a hint of uncertainty.

Mark froze completely up. Not daring to move anything. Did he hear that right? Mark felt his heart drop. A lump formed in his throat.

Not really knowing what to say, Donghyuck continued with, “I’m sorry…” and by the way Donghyuck said it, it almost sounded like he really meant it.

Almost.

Anger suddenly took over Mark and overshadowed any other emotion. Maybe it was the alcohol fortifying his anger, he didn't know.

He looked straight into the younger’s eyes now.

“How?” he hissed out. His eyes now glistened under the lamp. “How can you sit there and just say _"I’m sorry_ ”, like you did not leave? And without saying any fucking words?” His voice was a bit wobbly, but somehow also strong, "How do you have the guts to come and talk to me like you actually care after _everything_?"

Mark was livid.

Donghyuck’s conflicted eyes filled with shame as he looked downwards.

Mark was done _._ Just so _done_. The world wasn’t fucking fair.

With a hopeless voice, Mark continued, “Just how can you sit there and try to sweet talk to me knowing damn well I can see _that_. You don't care so stop acting like you do.” Donghyuck winced and moved his hand to his neck. 

_Yes, I can see the damn hickeys_.

He didn’t know when the angry tears had started to flow down, but when he felt drops of tears sliding down his chin and saw the other starting to reach out, he turned his head away and harshly wiped them away. 

He couldn’t do this. Couldn’t deal with this. Not right now.

So, he didn’t.

He got up and left. And maybe he did hear the other calling his name, but maybe he didn’t want to care and kept going. Maybe he’d regret it later, but it would only be one of his many regrets anyways.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun shone its way through the window blinds and woke and ache inside his head up. What a shitty day to be alive. While trying to block the sun from his sight with a pillow, he reached for his phone wondering what the time was.

Wait…

He'd gotten tons of notifications? It looked like they were all from…? He squinted at the screen. Jaehyun? 

Wait...

_Shit. I completely ditched him last night._

With the realization hitting him, he was now completely awake. Panic slowly seeped in of what could have happened to Jaehyun. Instead of reading the messages, he hit the call button right away. After a couple of beeps and anxiously looking around in the room for answers, he finally picked up.

"What the fuck happened to you? Where are you?" Mark asked right away, not giving the other a chance to say hi.

Silence… He could only hear shuffling and a few whispers. Still, he couldn't tell what the whispers said.

"Hello? Jae?" he tried again.

"Yeah, uhmm… who's this?" a deep voice asked.

Okay… Definitely not Jaehyun.

"Who am _I?_ I'm a friend of the guy who owns the phone _you're_ talking through," he barked.

"Woah woah, chill. Okay, so your guy blacked out and a friend of mine didn't have the heart to just leave him in the bushes. He's now in one of the guest rooms here. Do you wanna get him?" the guy asked. And from the way he talked, he had just woken up himself and was still tired as fuck.

"Oh… okay yeah, address?" he asked in a voice that was now something closer to civil.

After a few painkillers – because tipsy Mark just _had_ to down even more drinks after his meeting with _him –_ he felt slightly better. Once he felt the headache lessena bit, he headed out.

It wasn't before Mark arrived at the destination that he realized oh _,_ it's _here_ . Back to the frat house he was. It looked very different now in the broad sunlight in comparison from last night. Last night the only light there was, was purple. Not to mention the lack of people and the loud, drumming music. And wow, the people who lived here were so to say, _well_ off.

Finally done being a creep, he decided to ding the bell. He waited a bit before a lean guy with hot red hair opened the door. He looked fresh and just good in general. One thing that caught his attention fast was the eyebrow slit and the eyebrow piercing in the other. Mark was too busy admiring him that he didn't realize he had stared until the guy cleared his throat.

_Awkward…_

"Yeah, sorry"–he cleared his throat to somehow lessen the awkwardness–"I'm here for Jaehyun?" he really hoped he came to the right house.

It looked like the guy came to a realization as he changed his facade right away. He opened the door and stepped to the side and nodded Mark's way in.

The entrance room was gigantic, the whole aesthetic going on was so beautiful.

"Wow. It's a nice house you've got here" Mark said in awe.

"Oh, no no it's not mine, it's my best friend's house, but yeah, it really is amazing," he agreed.

"Oh sorry"–he reached out a hand–"my name is Taeyong," he smiled.

Mark gladly took it with a smile and shook it, "Mark."

On their way, Taeyong held a little mini-tour because apparently it was even bigger inside than it looked. At least that's how it felt.

Right before they walked to the next room Taeyong told him they had to be quiet. When they walked inside Mark first saw his friend sleeping as peaceful as ever. Well, at least one of them had got a good night's sleep. Mark went to sit down on the bed while Taeyong took the chair opposite.

"What I don't get is how he could've texted me when he ended up like _that._ " he whispered while pointing his head to Jaehyun's sleeping figure. 

"Oh, the messages? Well, that was me. He wasn't completely gone when I found him, and he managed to ask after you. He kept talking about this _Mark_ , so I took his phone and tried to contact you at ass o'clock. Eh, sorry for that by the way." he said while rubbing his nape.

"No, it's okay, it's my fault that he even ended up like this. I just left him, which I never should have done… I was in the wrong, really… " he said.

The sound of a yawn came from the bedsheets. "It's okay… I should've been more careful myself." a croaky voice said.

* * *

After Jaehyun got a painkiller and a glass of water – many glasses of water, they were finally about to leave.

However, when they were about to turn the last corner, they came face to face with a tall guy. Despite the fact that he'd never seen him before, he looked a bit familiar to Mark. The guy stopped them and gave Jaehyun a wicked smile.

"I saw you had fun yesterday… buuuut you should probably be more careful next time. If Yongs hadn't been there, you would've definitely smashed my mom's vase." he laughed while shaking his head.

"Yeah, I should've been more careful… sorry," he acknowledged.

"Aaaand? You're the mysterious person I talked to on the phone, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, sorry about _that_. Name's Mark," he gave a half-embarrassed smile.

"No problem man. Well, I get called a lot of things, but you can call me Lucas," he smiled back. 

His voice was even darker in real life and _was_ he handsome. What was up with this neighborhood and visuals Mark wondered.

As if on cue, a smaller figure came out the door that led to the kitchen.

_Fuck._

"Oh, hi… Mark?"

Mark closed his eyes and took in a deep shaky breath. _I swear to God this world hates me_.

His throat suddenly felt dry as it closed up, "Hi, Hyuck."

Donghyuch's eyes grew bigger with… shock? _Uh, what? Oh shit. Please tell me I did not just call him that._ Mark pointedly avoided Donghyuck's gaze.

Panic started to slowly seep in, and with that clutched Jaehyun's arm. He needed to get out. Out of the house right fucking now.

"Wait! Do you know each other? I feel like everyone I know knows someone else I also know. What is up with that," Lucas laughed to himself, completely unaware of the tension.

Lucas slung his arm around Donghyuck's neck — from the sudden familiarity, Mark was thrown into the flashback where he saw Donghyuck under the dimmed lights with a far too similar arm around him.

Mark froze, his grip on Jaehyun tightening. _It's_ _him_. Lucas was _that_ guy.

He must've accidentally showcased his shock because Lucas looked at him with a questioning face, "What?"

_Huh?_

Not being able to answer, his savior Jaehyun jumped into action. "Eh well, thank you for letting me stay over and everything, but I think we should get going."

Bidding fast goodbyes they were finally out of the house. Mark's mind was a mess. He couldn't think straight and just kept dragging Jaehyun as fast and as far as he could. It felt like his lungs were closing up. He had problems breathing. _Did it mean nothing at all?_ Angry tears ran down his chin and he started to hyperventilate. _Of course it didn't mean anything._ Mark felt his heart drumming in his chest. _I'm worthless._

_BEEEP_ . A car flew past him. He could feel the wind from the car. _Shit_. That was a close one. He could feel his heart beating in his whole body.

A strong arm yanked him back from the road, "Mark, what the _fuck_? Calm down and try not to get run over by a vehicle, please that's the last thing we need," Jaehyun ranted.

Jaehyun then took a proper look at Mark's face. He gave him a look of pity. Mark hated to be pitied. It only made him feel weaker. He dried his angry tears with the back of his hand and continued to drag Jaehyun.

After a while Jaehyun's voice broke the silence once again.

"You know…you know I'm here for you… okay?" he now said with a much warmer tone in his voice.

Mark slowed down to a stop. He then turned around with tear-filled eyes and crashed into Jaehyun's chest. He felt big arms wrap around to hold him, protecting him from the cruelty of the world. His tears raced down his face and soaked Jaehyun's hoodie. His chest was filled with pain. Jaehyun just hugged him tighter and stroked Mark's back in a comforting motion.

After what felt like forever, Mark's tears finally dried up. They kept walking the long way home together in a relaxing silence. He was finally able to get the air properly down his lungs without too much problem.

When they were outside Jaehyun's house, he turned around to face Mark with a concerned face. _Here it comes_. 

"How are you?"

"Meh…" he shrugged.

Jaehyun sent him a look of pity.

"It's fine… I just wasn't ready to meet him yet, I think"

"Understandable...I dunno, maybe you could, like meet up and finally put an end to this?" he hesitantly said. "I think that could be a good closure for you?"

Mark contemplated for a bit and then came to the conclusion, "Maybe you're right…"

* * *

That is how Mark found himself later in the bed with too many thoughts racking his mind. Jaehyun's words kept popping up in his head.

_Would it be better if I just got over with it?_

Maybe a proper "end" would do him well? From the way Donghyuck had tried to talk to Mark, it looked like the younger really wanted to say something to him too. 

In fact, sitting down and talking things through might just be the thing he needed. A proper closure to whatever they used to be was indeed needed.

> **12:46 am**
> 
> Hi, this is Mark… I wondered if you're up to meet. I think I need to talk to you properly one more time if that's alright?

The sound of the message getting sent filled the silence in his room. _I hope I wasn't too formal_ . Deciding that staying up any longer would only lead to more overthinking, he put his phone on _Do Not Disturb_ and closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

He took heavy steps towards the entrance doors. It was a cafe he knew all too well. Somehow they ended up agreeing that _ City Café _ would be a great place. The place they once called  _ their _ hangout place. 

It felt weird being back, and even weirder that he was meeting Donghyuck. It was as if the universe was playing some sick joke; like time hadn't passed, that things  _ were _ okay between the two — but they weren't, and that's why he was here. Right?

Anyways, that's where they ended up. Or, would end up, if Mark could actually make himself enter the café. 

After calming his nerves down with a deep breath and convincing himself that meeting Donghyuck was for the best. He realized standing him up really wasn’t an option — unless he wanted to be a dick. With that in mind he went in. 

Despite the whole idea being Mark’s, he felt so uneasy. It felt off, because no matter how many times he had let his mind bother him with Donghyuck, he would've never guessed that they would have this conversation.

When he finally was inside, he scanned the room for a familiar face. In the corner he could see the other giving him a short smile accompanied with a little wave. 

When he sat down, Donghyuck shoved a familiar Mochaccino-filled cup towards him. Of course he hadn't forgotten Mark's usual. When he looked up to face Donghyuck, he could see tired eyes. Tired eyes that probably had been dreading and wanting this conversation just like he himself had.

"Thanks."

For a while they just sat in silence, took the fact that they were sitting here again after all those months, and  _ together _ . 

After moments a few moments, Donghyuck began to talk, "We're not a thing you know… me and him."

And that sentence being the first thing being said probably should've made Mark take a double take, but he didn't need to question it, because Lucas' arm slung around Donghyuck was still somehow a very clear image in his mind.

Mark looked up from his cup, "You know, I'd never get mad at you for getting into a relationship. Right?" Which was the truth, because who was Mark to tell Donghyuck who to date and who to not?

"Yeah, no of course. I know you're not like that. I just wanted to say that I'm not the type of guy to jump from–" now, what was the right term? They never were in a relationship, at least not officially... He could say they had a thing? Yes, and that was all they were. A  _ thing _ . "Erhm, a thing straight to another thing."

Feelings had never been easy for Donghyuck generally speaking. He was insecure about most things like everyone, and with the guy in front of him everything was even more confusing.

"What kind of guy are you then?"

Yeah. What kind of guy was he? 

"...I don't know…but I really am sorry. I'm such a coward and I'm sorry for cutting you off like I did." From the way he sounded, it felt like he was truly sorry. 

Mark still remembered the late night talks, looking into those big bright eyes filled up with the stars. Dark-brown eyes intensely staring into him, accompanied with a warm and cheeky smile. 

The memory of the warm summer nights was still very clear. That summer had introduced him to feelings he didn't know one was able to feel. Donghyuck's embrace had made him feel light. Just holding his hands would send Mark to cloud nine and make his heart beat just a bit faster. 

It was addicting. Felt like he wanted to drown in Donghyuck's comfort and in everything that Donghyuck was. It had almost felt too good to be true, and now it felt like it had been some kind of distant dream that had never happened.

With a tired huff, he said, "I just wish you had said something. Just anything as to why… I think it would've been better if I had a reason to blame it on, you know."

That's at least what he likes to think. That knowing and having a reason wouldn't have kept him up at late nights spent overthinking.

He swallowed as he recalled all the times he had lied in his bed and tried to find the flaws of reason. Late nights he blamed himself for not being enough and wondering where it went wrong, what he did wrong. He couldn't blame Donghyuck, because in the end it was Mark's own fault that he let his own mental health crumble like that. He was  _ weak _ .  _ God _ , he hated being like this.

Mark blinked the shining in his eyes away. He wasn't going to crumble now, he wouldn't let that happen. Not now.

"Remember when I told you that my friends had been ditching me? I remember I came to school one day and suddenly they were giving me the cold shoulder. I eventually gave up trying to fix something I didn't know the problem of.

"At first I remember being angry, then I just felt sad and disappointed. But then it was okay, because you were there," he looked up towards Donghyuck.

"I used to tell you about my shit, and you'd be there to tell me  _ It was all gonna be okay _ . You didn't even have to say much, just your company helped me in a way.

"I felt okay for a while, I really did. I thought we were okay, but then you also disappeared on me… and  _ exactly _ the same way everyone else had. I just couldn't figure out why people kept leaving me without a word," he gave a smile that portrayed anything other than happiness.

Donghyuck's heart stung. Hearing what he had put Mark through made things worse. Thing was that he knew what he did when he left, but didn't think it would hurt him as much as it did.

What he knew was how he  _ needed _ to leave for himself. Donghyuck knew he wasn't ready yet for anything with Mark. Deep inside he knew he wasn't ready. It had felt like their whole thing had been so  _ rushed _ . He had felt scared of the whole thing. Scared of himself and his own feelings.

"I know I could've done things differently, and I really wish I did do it another way. A way that didn't hurt you like it did".

He reached out to hold over Mark's hands, hoping the gesture could help bring his sincere feelings across to the other. "I just didn't know how to deal with stuff back then and I just took the easy way out."

He had simply been selfish, and he knew that. Acknowledged it and wished he had done things differently. 

"And I  _ am _ truly sorry for that." Donghyuck released his hands and leaned back against the cold couch.

He looked into Mark's eyes, trying to find something. Something like...Acceptance? Forgiveness? Something that could ease his guilt.

"I think I was confused about my feelings. I knew I liked you better than the others, but I didn't know what that really meant. I wanted to be there for you, but I needed time and space for myself to figure stuff out", he finished.

Mark nodded, "Well, I wish that you'd said something. Maybe that would have spared me some tears," he said with an airy tone, probably trying to make the mood go up a bit despite what he said.

"To be honest I don't blame you as much as I used to do. I realize now I just depended too much on you, and everything I held against my old friends somehow got shifted over to you. It was all just a big mess."

It was simply the truth. Yes, he had been broken when Donghyuck had left him, but the reason it had hit him so hard was because his old friends had done the exact same just a bit before Donghyuck. Also because Donghyuck had been his support when he was ditched the first time, and feelings for him had slowly but surely crawled up.

Fact was, Donghyuck was an asshole because he just left when he knew Mark really trusted him. However, at the end of the day Mark didn't own him. 

Mark had learned the hard way that people just let you down sometimes, and there's nothing you can do about it. When had Donghyuck left, Mark had no shoulder to cry on and no one to really trust. So when Hyuck left him, all the love and support also left him — and he thinks that's why it had hurt  _ so much _ .

It was Donghyuck's fault that he left, but Mark's own fault that he withered away like he did. No one was responsible to keep his mental health in check but himself. Donghyuck had his reasons for leaving, and he had to respect that. One day he would also hopefully be able to understand why.  _ One day _ .

Mark looked up at him, a smile on his lips, "We'll be okay… I think we'll be okay." 

An agreeing nod and a genuine smile came from Donghyuck.

* * *

Meeting Donghyuck had been hard. It had been difficult to face old feelings he had tried so hard to bury away forever. Thankfully he managed and it had been something he really had needed. It also went pretty good, and tangled knots he didn't know of had at last been loosened.

Breathing felt easier and Mark felt lighter. Maybe he could finally put it all behind him. Maybe he was ready to let go and start a new chapter in his life.

He smiled to himself despite the glistening tears that formed in his eyes. With a little lighter heart, he continued to walk away from his past. 

He could finally let himself heal and this time without  _ any _ regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say something: I struggled so much with the ending, you have no idea. Back and forth on if I should make them end up together or not. Thing is, feelings will forever be complicated no matter what. Leaving someone you love or have loved will always have it's bitterness no matter how unhealthy or harmful it is. Reality is that so many let themselves hurt because they only pay attention to the good side of love. Feelings can be so ugly and the fact is that we can't even decide how we want to feel. 
> 
> In this story, I gave them a satisfying ending for both and kind of an open ending, which could mean they get back together later og continue as friends or just live on with their lives separated.
> 
> With that said, constructive criticism is always welcome and if you liked it, pls give kudos to let me know. I hope you understand why I ended it like this and if you don't, please let me know why not :)!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I greatly appreciate kudos and pls do comment if you want <3


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